This post isn’t anything like the last one. I’m quite pleased with it, but it’s different.
There’s no lube. That’s what I’m saying.
You know what? I think I’m making this worse.
Today was my first day back at work. I got in, booted up my computer and hung my unicorn up on the wall.
Of course everyone asked about how my holidays were, and they were mostly pretty good, except for the hernia. That led to talking about the first near fatal hernia and cracking jokes about my many, many brushes with death.
Probably too many really. When I tried to count them I ran out of fingers and had to move on to toes.
Between accidents, illness and occasional malice I’ve nearly died more than a dozen times.
I’d like to think that’s all behind me now, but sometimes I’d like to think I look a bit like Ryan Reynolds and that’s just wildly untrue.
This has led to a fair bit of introspection. Actually it’s led to a fair bit of comfort eating but in between mouthfuls there’s been some introspection too. One of the things that cropped up over and over was that sometimes when death has been hanging around generally making a nuisance of itself, the difference between living and dying was made by something small.
And, just as importantly the difference between resilience and despair has again, been small things.
It’s been a friend sending me an advance copy of his book to read while I was in chemo.
It’s been my wife buying me silly things that she knows will make my day even if they make no sense to anyone else.
That’s why I have both Tony the unicorn and a framed picture of a pineapple on the wall at work.
It was my brother turning up at my place to help me walk to the end of the drive when that was as far as I could go. And my parents sitting with me in chemo while all I could do was wheeze at them.
These things made that difference.
I’m saying all of this because I’m seeing a lot of people freaking out about where their world is at right now. And yep, for a lot of people things really suck right now for all kinds of reasons.
For some of them a part of that freak out is the feeling that they can’t do anything to help, and in a lot of situations they can’t help, not in the big powerful solve everything kind of way that we all wish we could offer at one point or another. But there are always small things. The little bits of help and comfort that don’t seem like much but can make all the difference in the world.
Of course if you CAN do a big thing, go do that, but if you can’t remember that just because you might not be able to do much doesn’t mean you can’t do anything.